Give Me Back My Old Username and Password

Originally Published in Brooklyn Daily Eagle

At the dawn of the internet age, around 1996, when I first connected to the web, I was asked on several sites to choose a user name and password.

After some thought, I chose a user name that both my wife and I could use and a six-letter password that was based on one of my wife’s childhood imaginary characters.

This state of affairs made me very happy. The names were simple and easily remembered and could be used on many different sites. There was one site that wanted a longer password, but I merely added another imaginary character to the first.

Within the last five years or so, however, I have been given to understand that my old user name and password are no longer “politically correct.” Every time I log onto a new site and set up an account, it seems, I have to choose a password that’s not only 10 or more characters but one that also has some upper-case and some lower-case letters, numbers, and, in at least one case, a figure such as a star or an exclamation point. In other cases, especially financial sites, even after I log on, I have to identify a pre-chosen photo before I get the site.

Almost as odious as this is the fact that half the time, I can’t even choose a user name for myself any more. More and more sites want my email to serve as my user name. That might be simpler for them, but what happens if I change my email address?

I know that these changes are designed to keep me safe, but I think I’m safe enough as it is — few people, for example, would know the names of my wife’s imaginary characters. I long for the days when life was nice and simple. Give me back my old user name and password!